Movie Review: Stan Helsing

Plot
Can't be bothered to detail what happens in this piece of crap.

What i Thought
This is probably going to be my shortest review ever as the more time and space i give this absolutely mind numbing pile of excrement the more it does it justice.

The best way i can describe this movie is one simple single word TERRIBLE.

Overall
If you like comedies avoid this, if you like horror avoid this, if you like your sanity avoid this, if you don't want to be bored out of your skull avoid this, if you like your sight and hearing fully avoid this.
By far the worst movie I've not only seen this year but seen in the last few years.
09%

Movie Review: Scre4m (Scream 4)

Plot
10 years have passed since the Ghostface killer went on his murderous rampage at Woodsboro and the victim of all of this Sidney Prescott has returned to her home town on her last stop of her book tour however the past is getting ready to strike again and no soon enough the Ghostface killer is back and ready to repeat what happened 10 years ago.

What I thought
Now before i get into anything I have to say that i'm a huge fan of the first two Scream movies they showed that horror wasn't dead and that there was a way of breathing life into it however with the third movie Wes Craven lost the plot as it was just plain terrible so with the 4th one in the movie franchise he is trying to regain some ground he lost with the third one and for the most part he has succeeded.

We all know how the first movie went and it introduced us to and horror icon so with the 4th movie he wanted to bring the Ghostface killer back up to the forefront again as Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers have had updated movies in that time so is Ghostface still as scary as before, well the simple answer there is NO.

You see the main problem i had with Scre4m is that it didn't try anything new at all, instead of it being the reboot of the franchise that Craven was hoping for it turned out to be just a sort of remake of the first one.
Now i'm not going to go into any plot spoilers but i will say that if you have seen the first one then you will probably be able to map out the entire film from how people are killed down to the ending and for me this is a bad thing as the best thing about the original Scream was that you didn't know what to expect and from start to finish you were always trying to guess who the killer was.

It's not all doom a gloom though there are a few elements of the movie that did work, firstly the opening 15 minutes are actually done quite well and while doesn't hit the high that the first one did it's still a very enjoyable opening.
Secondly the humour of the Scream movies is well intact with this one as there are points that you will laugh, one point of the movie that brought a smile to my face was the slight mickey take of the Saw franchise calling it out by saying that it's just torture porn and gory for gore sakes.
Finally the character who i liked through the other 3 movies is on top form here and that's Deputy Dewy who is brilliantly played by David Arquette, plus it's nice to see Gale still having a bitchy side.

So while this is nothing new and fails on some aspects it's nice to see the Scream movies have found there way after the awful Scream 3.
One other thing to quickly point out is that the writer of the movie is credited to Kevin Williamson who wrote the first two however there were a few problems with the script that he did so they got the writer from the third one Ehren Kruger to make a few rewrites and you can probably tell as the part she did was the middle 20 minutes and this is where the movie just gets boring like the third movie.

Score 70%

Movie Review : Source Code

Plot
An American army pilot played by Jake Gyllenhaal wakes up on a train in a different man's identity and before he can figure out whats going on the train explodes and he wakes up in a machine called the Source Code unknown why he is there and how he got there.
Appearing on the screen of the pod appears another solider who tells him that he has be recruited in a top secret mission to find out who blew up the train that he was on and with the help of the machine that he is in he can find out who did it, unfortunately he only has 8 minutes each time to uncover the truth with each trip unraveling the answers. 

What I Thought
The first thing you need to know about Source Code and one of the most important things is that the director of it (Duncan Jones) first movie was the fantastic Moon so you know that you are not going to get a very simple story you are in fact going to get something that feels fresh and unique and it has to be one of the best Sci-Fi action movies since the brilliant Inception.

During each trip that Gyllenhaal makes a trip in the Source Code you find out more about the character who he has taken over and the relationship with his female friend only for him to start liking his friend and this part of the movie adds heart that is missing from most movies these days.
If you have watched the trailer you might have seen that the movie has been done on a big scale however thats not true as very few sets have been used and in my eyes this helps the movie as it doesn't deviate from what it's trying to attempt by adding stupid plot points and useless characters.

Yes there is a couple of problems with the movie, a few people might be put off by the fact that the movie goes back and forth a lot from the world in the Source Code to the really world that Gyllenhaal is in and also the explanation of the Source Code seems a bit simple and pointless but don't let this put you off as i guarantee that these are just minor problems in a movie thats engaging, complex and interesting from beginning to end.  

To say i liked Source Code is not doing it much justice lets just say that it is the best movie i have seen since the brilliant Inception and i urge that if you haven't seen it or were on the fence about it get to the cinema now and watch it, that's an order.

Score - 85%

Movie Review : Sucker Punch

Plot
When a girl is sent to a mental asylum by her abusive stepfather for killing her sister she hatches a plan with four other girls in the asylum to get out however things don't go according to plan when the only way for her to get out is to find 5 items but it will not be easier than she thinks.

What I thought
Now I'm a huge fan of Zack Znyder as he has done some great movies in the past with Dawn of the Dead remake being one of his best so it was probably about time that he made a bad movie however when i saw the trailer for Sucker Punch i never thought i would say that this was going to be his stinker but unfortunately this is and what a stinker of a movie.

First off you expect a movie that features lots of explosions, gorgeous girls in skimpy outfits, nazi robots that look like they have come out of Killzone and dragons to be a entertaining roller coaster ride of a action movie however i was bored throughout as each section of the movie where the girls are looking for the items they need just feels like a boring music video.
Secondly you might have a idea on how the movie is like when you have a actress that was in the High School Musical movies, one that made her acting debut in the terrible Ghost Ship and another one who's claim to fame is Dragonball Evolution to turn out and you would be exactly right if you guessed at it being terrible.
Finally if the director of the movie can't even be bothered to sit down and write a script that has even one brain cell then you know that something has gone really wrong. 

It's really really hard for me even to recommend this car crash of a nightmare to anybody, the only people in my eyes who should go to see this is those that are blind and deaf or if you want to punish yourself with something so bad it would of been less painful if you listened to even one song from Justin Beiber.

Before i give you my score though i do have to say that the first 10 minutes of the movie where it supposedly sets out the story is actual OK because it feels like the director was going for a really dark and brutal movie but after the first 10 minutes you realise that you are so wrong.
Score - 29%

Mini Movie Review

Since i'm a huge fan of movies as well as games i thought it was about time that i cover movies in a better way rather than just keep posting up trailers all of the time.
So what better way to kick off my movie coverage than to bring you a few reviews of movies that i have seen over the last week or so.

Salt
It isn't a very good sign when your main actor who was supposed to play the lead role drops out and it's a even worse sign when you get a woman to replace him even though the role was written for him however in the case of Salt it seems that it was a good idea because the original actor, Tom Cruise went off to make the really bad Night and Day thus giving the role to Angelina Jolie and what a job she has done.

What we have here is the basic thriller where a person for the CIA is outed as a Russian spy and that she will assassinated the Russian president and finally get to the American president however the director hasn't taken a straight route with the story as takes us on a journey where you are not sure whether she really is a spy or infact undercover and only making it seem like she is one.

While the story is not original and it seems to be your straight forward paint by numbers thriller it does seem a little fresh as it's not very usual to see a woman play a role like this and Angelina Jolie makes it hers, there are a few problems with pacing and that it could confuse a few people but if you stick with it then like the Bourne movies it is trying to emulated it is a really good movie.
84%

The Expendables
When your writer and director of your movie is really hard to understand then you know your in trouble, however when that same director wants to be the star of the movie as well and brings a few of his friend along where its even harder to understand a word they are saying it gets even harder for you to understand them, the things is though these stars have been hand picked by the director because they were big in there field of movies and that they needed work and it show.

The main thing to note about the Expendables is that its directed by Sylvester Stallone and that most of the actors he has on board (including Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Bruce Willis and more) have not made very many big screen movies in the last 10 years and it shows as most of them struggle with not only the script but with the action scenes as well.

The storyline is just a simple as the actors as a group of mercenaries are asked to take down a corrupt person working for the government who has happened to take over a island that is one of the best places to grow drugs.
This is your usual straight forward story and it shows as not only is the action very straight forward but the movie is extremely boring as nothing really happens in the middle 30 mins and when it does it's very low budget and so plain it makes you want to watch a episode of the Jeremy Kyle show just to get a bit of action.

There are a few good action scenes but for the most part the movies just bores and becomes just another one of those paint by numbers action flicks.
There are no stand out actors even though it's flooded with ex action stars however if i had to pick one then Jason Statham seems to be the one who is making the best out of a useless script and dull set pieces.
As you can see i wasn't a big fan of it however if i had to recommend it to anybody then if you have very fond memories of early 80's action filcks then there is a little chance to might like this movie however if you are like me and have a little bit of a brain inside your head you would just stay away from this very under average action movie.
47%

Scar 3D
A one word movie review for this one and that is ATROCIOUS avoid this movie like it was genital warts.
7%

That's it for this mini review however there will be another one in a couple of days where i will review Piranha 3D and Scott Pilgrim VS the World